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Lost

But you’re right I probably am destined to be by myself because I don’t feel like I connect with many people and I feel different than most and I’ve always been that way; all my life.
I make friends easily but I’ve never fit in.
One in 8 billion. But still feel alone.
I’m broken and bitter. A stigma
Is it selfish to have so much and yet feel like you have still have nothing
I’m damaged goods
I want to run away to nowhere, somewhere.
Can I Morph into you for one night
Drink to subsides my sorrow to feel alive and escape the feeling
Betrayed by most; trust is non existent these days. Loyalty is faded. Passion is gone.

Surfing and catching those way.. Used to be a way of living for me. But then you came and changed everything. Made me feel whole again. But not entirely satisfied with what my life really needed. I thought it was you. But after a while I realized that same feeling came back. Here I am in the same space… I’m still lost.

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Who am I

The scars I bare are not the kind that can be seen.
A fake smile across my face. Something that most don’t know.
A fake pre sauna. A lie. Or maybe just a face I’m so used to making it seems to be true to the audience that’s looks apon me. Eyes are only one real way of seeing into someone soul. Don’t look in mine there’s too much to tell.
What do you know, but what you see.

Scottie Boom Ba Lottie

A young soul taken too soon.

The struggles we feel on a daily basis another cannot fathom.
You suffered in ways we can not understand. I know first hand what it is to battle a battle you can not win. And the only way to change is the extreme. And for you the extreme felt unattainable or you just didn’t have the strength to do yourself; even with the help of others. Sometimes the weight of your decisions alone are too much to bare. Feeling alone and defeated you turn to something that no one thought of.
So many amazing attributes that you did not see in yourself; we saw in you.
You were a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend, an artist, a musician, a comedian, and so much more. An amazing person, who’s presence was felt by all. Your charismatic look on life was inspiring.
Why you chose the path you chose we will never understand.
It was your journey to live and not ours to judge.
May you suffer no more, and feel no burden.
Everyone you leave behind are now feeling an emotion that can only be described in ways that only the ones that love you can talk about in your memories you imprinted on us.
The memories I have give me a smile and I will remember all of the fun, silly, and crazy times we had.
In your passing the loss of your life is felt throughout. By all you touched you’ve made a lasting memory, not only in my heart, but all that knew you. May you be at peace; until I see you again, my friend.